


Into Oblivion

by AutumnSwonger11



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Anime, Aobajousai, F/M, Fanfiction, Gen, Haikyuu - Freeform, Iwa, Karasuno, Tobio - Freeform, Volleyball, toru - Freeform, volleyball anime
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:07:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28739241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnSwonger11/pseuds/AutumnSwonger11
Summary: Oblivion; A state of being unaware of what is happening around you.You felt defeated in every aspect of your life. Desperately trying to turn it around you pick up school again. But with a rocky past like yours, it's only bound to breakthrough your once-solid front, piece by piece. Attempting to mend your fractured relationships with Oikawa and Iwa, the stress piles on. Can you bear it, or will you be shattered by your fears?Tbh I'm not exactly sure where this is all going but if you're reading I hope you enjoy it!❤️
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> Thank you so much for choosing my story :)  
> Just to clear everything up;  
> I've never actually written and published a story so idk if it's good or not but I really really hope you like it, and I'm probably not the best at grammar and all that but ohh well  
> Anddd I'm not sure when I'll update or if I'll have a schedule or not...it's kinda a work in progress lol  
> Also if I'm being honest I really have almost no idea where this is going, I'm just rolling with it so idk how it's gonna all unfold  
> Okayy I'm done taking your time and if you have feedback I'd love to hear it!  
> ~Mischa❤️

Aoba Johsai’s captain, Toru Oikawa, was up to serve after tying the score 15-15. You analyzed him throughout the game, seeing as you’ll become the next manager when the third years leave.  
You’ve noticed from watching several of his games he is very strategic from the way he places the ball on the court, or how he adapts to the playing styles of his team. You always admired him for that.  
He’s pretty well-rounded and looks like he’s improved since the last time you watched him. But that’s no surprise, he’s always been like that, ever since Kitagawa First and Kageyama envied him for it.  
As you were deep in thought, the rapturous cheers from Seijoh’s stands brought you back to reality. Spinning the ball in his hands, he walks past the line, briefly stopping to stare at the ground. He takes a breath, then turns to face his opponents with a smirk, looking confident as usual.  
He pitched the ball up in the air and ran across the sleek maple wood floors and jumped, waiting for the perfect peak height. He looked so carefree, almost like he was flying. You dreamed of that feeling.  
With one swift hit, the ball tore through the air into the back row. Daichi, pushing himself to go, dug the ball up with remarkable accuracy. Passing it to Kageyama, who set it up to Tanaka (the wing spiker) who hit it through an opening. Resulting in another point for Karasuno.  
A few plays later Karasuno tied it up with Aoba Johsai on the receiving end. Leaving Oikawa to set Kindaichi, a middle blocker. He hit it over the net just short of Tanaka’s block. The Sendai City Gymnasium sprang full of life. Aoba Johsai had hit the twenty point mark first. You hoped Karasuno would pull through. To get a better view of the game, you decided to stand by the railing, and that’s when you heard someone calling your name.  
“Y/n! Hey, I just bought some water. I thought you could use it,” a voice said. You looked over your shoulder. It was Saeko. You two have been close since the volleyball club had started back in the fall.  
She was like your supportive older sister. You had completely forgotten she went out. You were too wrapped up in the game. “I thought it might relax your nerves if you drank a little, how’s the game going?” She said handing you the water.  
“Thanks,” you say, seizing it from her. “Aoba Johsai just hit twenty points, but Karasuno is holding up.” You uncapped the water Saeko gave you and took a sip. Your throat was parched and your head felt a little light so you're appreciative she’d brought it. It turns out your nerves had been taunting you. But that was typical for you, with everything that has happened in your past.  
“Sorry I was gone for so long, I ran into Akiteru.” Confused, you looked at her as if waiting for an answer. “Oh, right, you don’t know who that is.” Without giving you enough time to answer, she replied, “He’s Tsukishima's older brother. I was in high school with him.”  
“He has a brother? Since when-” You were then cut-off by the ref’s whistle. You glanced out to observe what was happening on the court. It appeared they were subbing Tadashi in, and Karasuno had tied the match again. While talking to Saeko, you must’ve missed the play.  
He was going in as a pinch server and subbing Hinata out. The last time he went in he scored five points in a row. He walked out on the court catching the ball from his teammates.  
He took a breath and served deep in the back row to Kyoutani. The trajectory altered from his previous serves, catching Seijoh off guard. It looked like it was going out, but Kyoutani discovered his mistake a second too late. In a desperate attempt to stop the ball, he attempted a set but it slightly curved above him. Distracting him from the set which caused it to float out of bounds.  
“Yeahh!! Go Tadashi!”You and Saeko yelled from the stands. This could be it; Karasuno could take back the lead.  
But in a split second, you watch as the ball gets recovered by Seijoh’s ace. With that being the second touch their Libero returned the ball, giving Karasuno a free ball. Your nerves seemed to be acting up as the match was extremely tense. You wondered what nationals were like if the matches leading up to it were like this. Maybe one day you’ll be able to see Karasuno play in the spring nationals, but everything depends on this game. If there's even a chance to see them, it depends all on who wins this set.  
The volleys seemed to go on forever, but there was never a dull moment. From the day you became interested in volleyball. It never failed to amuse you. This was one of the only things you could talk about for hours on end with a spark in your eyes.  
At one point in your life, it was the only thing that brought you joy. That was almost three years ago after your Mom died from a rare disease and left you and your brother alone.  
It was always you, Elijah, and your mother. She would do anything for you, never wanting you to feel alone or left behind like how your father did. He left you when you were young, but you’ll never forget the pain he put you through.  
After that, you decided to shut everyone out, so you didn’t have many friends. It was difficult at first, being alone all the time. Especially when your brother was studying at med school, but you eventually got used to it. Until you met Kageyama, Iwa, and Oikawa.  
You watched as the ball went back and forth across the courts neither team ever catching a break. The point looked like it was going to Aoba Johsai but in a desperate attempt to save it Hinata rammed into the block next to Kageyama. Pushing him out of the way so that the ball would rebound off his hand into the opposing court.  
You were shocked that the play worked just like everyone else on the court. The ball bounced to the ground as the Libero dove just short of it. The crowd roared. Shortly after you noticed Kageyama glaring at Hinata clutching his side in pain.  
How typical.

They never fully got along, and it all started with a petty rivalry back in middle school. Or at least that’s what you heard. But without them, Karasuno wouldn’t be where they are today.  
As the next play is about to start you feel a vibration in your pocket that catches you off guard. You take your phone out of your pocket. It’s your brother, Elijah. That’s unusual, he never calls...unless it’s important.  
You stare at your phone watching it go off. Waiting for it to stop so this knot in your stomach would go away.  
“Hey Saeko, I’ll be right back. Gotta take a call,” you say, turning away to the exit.  
“Oh, okay don’t be gone too long though, or you’ll miss the rest of the game. I’ll come to get you when it starts,” she mentioned, but you were too lost in your racing thoughts to hear her.  
You stared at your phone wondering what he would say. It’s rarely good news. As you walk to the hall your notifications, read:2 missed calls, Elijah. Your phone started vibrating again. You have to pick it up now, but what are you supposed to say?


	2. Chapter 2

“...Hello?” you mumble with unease.  
“Hey Y/n, it’s been a while. We need to talk.” Elijah spoke calmly. “Are you free anytime soon, so that we could talk in person?” You sat there in silence unsure of what to say.  
“What is this about? You never call unless it’s urgent.”  
“That’s why we need to meet... it-its about Dad.”  
“What?” you said, not fully processing what you had only just heard. “What do you mean, Dad? He abandoned us, what could he possibly want now?”Something snapped inside you. But was it anger or anxiety? Maybe a little bit of both.  
“I don’t think I should tell you over the phone.” His voice trailed off. In your sudden burst of feelings, you had lost sight of the thought that this was hard on him too. You sighed.  
“Fine, I’m free on Friday. Does that work for you?”  
“Yeah, Friday’s perfect. I’ll text you the details later because I’m sure you’re occupied with things right now, sorry for just calling like that.” That was strange, you thought. He wouldn’t normally apologize for something as minor as that. Maybe this whole situation was worse than you thought. Best not to think too much of it. Repeating your mistakes would just cause pain.  
“I’ll see you then I guess, bye Eli.” You say quickly hanging up the phone. You sink to the ground staring at your phone already dreading Friday. It’s been years since anyone has mentioned your father to you, much less wanted to talk about him. Not after what had happened.  
You haven’t been away from the game very long; you shouldn’t have missed much. If you go back now, you’ll get to witness the end but you can’t seem to get your legs to move.  
“There you are. I’ve been looking for you. You’ll miss the game if you don’t hurry.” You know it’s Saeko but you don’t look up. “Come on, we have to go if we’re watching the rest of the game.” You still don’t answer. “Are you okay Y/n?” She kneeled to the ground where you sat. She tilted your chin up so that you would look at her.  
“What happened?” She asked, meeting your gaze. She examined your tearful blue eyes, patiently waiting, knowing not to rush you. As you're overpowered by thoughts, you’re cautious of what you say. Making sure she doesn’t worry about you. Quickly blinking back tears you replied,  
“Sorry, I was just thinking about something. But I’m all good now,” you said putting on a peppy front, as you struggled to get up. She didn’t look convinced, but she decided it was better to leave it alone for now. “Come on, you don’t want to be late, right?” You say walking backward motioning her to follow.  
“Y/n?” she said, rising to her feet.  
“Yeah?” She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts.  
“Are you sure you're okay? Because that look you had-”  
“Absolutely,” you said cheerfully, interrupting her. “Why wouldn’t I be?” She had seen right through you. But that’s to be expected from someone so close.  
This is earlier than usual that you have to reinforce the wall you put up to shield yourself. Although she was hesitant, she hustled to follow you back to the gym.  
You both get back in time to see Kageyama intently staring down at Oikawa. You could practically see the tension. While surveying all that was happening your eyes met Oikawa’s. It was like you could see the anguish in his eyes, but that only fueled his drive to succeed. He didn’t practice that hard to give up. He had to go to nationals; it was his last chance.  
Seijoh called a timeout. Coming back to the match was a pleasant distraction from your lingering thoughts. You know you shouldn’t dwell too much on the future and focus on the present, that’s what your brother told you anyway. But how can you not when that’s all you can think about?  
The crowd and the teams on edge with neither side willing to waste a point. An attack made by Karasuno results with Seijoh barely getting it in time; deceiving everyone into believing it's a chance ball. At the last second Oikawa sides out and points to Iwaizumi before he executes an impossible play flailing himself into benches to make the set.  
You’re not surprised, although everyone else is. He’s exactly like you remember, constantly pushing his limits. He never fails to disappoint you.  
You haven’t talked to him in a while; he probably wouldn’t want to anyway. After what you did, what you said.  
He attended a different school anyway. But things were different back then when you three all went to the same school. But then something snapped in Oikawa, you had watched it happen. All Kageyama wanted was to learn to serve. You’d come to watch their practice as usual, but you were running late. As you walked in, you finally noticed the sheer resentment that Oikawa had for Kageyama, but you’d never understand it.  
The ball from Oikawa’s play went through to their ace causing a great attack set-up. Daichi, barely got under the ball causing it to go spiraling out of bounds.  
Still not reaching the floor Tanaka got under the ball sending it high in the back row making everyone believe the last resort is to pass it over. But from the back Asahi, Karasuno's ace attacks from the backline directing it over to Seijoh. Barely getting it up it spirals into the net.  
Then with a split-second decision made by Kyoutani, he hits it up but it ends up going to Karasuno. You hear Hinata yelling from across the court, “Give it to me! Set it here!”  
You're on your toes as you watch the final moments of the game. Hinata then goes up to the net with one solitary bound, with three blockers on the other side. It looks like the shot will be stuffed.  
That’s when you see him hit it, right through an opening.  
It’s like those moments he talks about all the time, where he can see a golden spotlight on the court with a perfect opening. And the rush he gets afterward is why he loves volleyball so much. It’s why you love volleyball so much.  
It’s always brought you so much joy, no matter the state of the world around you. When you play, everything just fades out like you don’t have a care in the world.  
Oikawa is ready in the back with a fierce determination on his face because this play would determine everything. Hinata drives the ball through the wall of blockers, nicking one of their fingers for a trajectory change and straight for Oikawa. But it was uncentered striking him at just the right angle to bounce off his arms and out of bounds.  
Each team trained for weeks, but the game was over in seconds. As the ball bounces behind Oikawa he just stands there, in shock and regret. You watch in awe of how it played out.  
At that moment the realization hit you, this was one step closer to nationals. The next step to see that huge single court stadium that they’ve always dreamed of. Karasuno came together reveling in their victory, while Aoba Johsai held back their emotions. You laughed when you saw Noya and Hinata jump onto the rest of the team making them all fall into a huge pile.  
Looking away from Karasuno to Aoba Johsai, you recognize the regret in each one of them as they try to collect themselves. You feel a little sympathy for them as tears stream down their faces, but in all fairness, it was anyone's game.  
You're a little shocked to see Iwa like that. He was always so put together while also keeping Oikawa in line.  
Like that one day, you came to gather them after practice. Oikawa was overworking himself like usual, but being one of the best he had no need to, but he insisted. It wasn’t effortless to restrict him without Iwa yelling at him. But something was unusual about that day, Oikawa seemed...off.  
As you're about to enter the gym you watch as Kageyama, in his innocence, stands there cradling a ball in his hands. Patiently waiting for his upperclassmen to answer. Oikawa had snapped at that one little thing. That one slight gesture of Kageyama requesting his assistance in jump-serving. Before he could knock him down, Iwa jumped in stopping his irrational decisions. Oikawa didn’t say a single word; he just left.


	3. Chapter 3

As they’re walking off the court, you collect your bag and watch as Saeko runs off. Before you go praise them there’s something you have to do. You survey the gym looking for him only to notice Iwa leaving. You quickly weave through the crowd running to the doors to meet him before he’s gone. This might be the last chance you have to see either of them. You make it past the hoards of people, down to a hallway.  
“Iwa! Wait!” You manage to stop him before he turns the corner.   
“Y/n? What are you doing here?” There had been a prolonged silence before he took a breath; trying to gather his thoughts. He glared at the ground. He had so many questions after all these years “What happened to you? Why didn’t you answer my texts? My calls?”   
He had so many more questions but still, after all these years, he didn’t know what to say. Rather he didn’t know how to. Seeing you after all those years brought the simmering anger to the surface, but not making itself known.  
“Iwa...I-” With your vision clouding, and eyes burning; you felt a warm presence, trail down your cheek.   
Were those tears? Were you...crying? You couldn’t even apprehend the fact that he caught you off guard.   
Unprotected.   
Vulnerable.   
Exposed.  
You thought this eventual meeting would go smoother after seeing them at games from time to time, guess not. You concealed your eyes attempting to restrain these brutal, buried feelings, the ones you shut out. Deep inside you knew it would never work. The more you tried hiding it the worse it got.  
The tears flowing from your eyes burned your cheeks. You sink to your knees, sobbing into your hands. Being overwhelmed had never done you any good. It only hindered you from everything around you. He knelt beside you contemplating what to do. He gaped at your tears realizing how deeply broken you were inside.   
“It’s okay, take your time.” That was the only thing he said as he tightly embraced you, crying on the floor.   
He knew no amount of words would help, just for someone to sit and listen, to comfort you.   
He used to be one of your best friends, how could you abandon him?  
How could you abandon any of them?   
Why did you say those things?  
You even dared to leave all those fights with the guilty feeling of things going unresolved.  
You left without leaving a trace. Leaving them a trail of anger, your anger, and their ignorance.   
You broke them and broke yourself.   
How could you leave without telling them?   
The idea of them hating you didn’t seem so foreign anymore. After all, you pushed them away. That’s what you always did when things got rough. Never accepting help, just your isolation.   
Suppressing the memories, the feelings, everything that had ever hurt you, and everything in the things in the crossfire.   
When you ultimately decided to attend school again this year, you chose Karasuno; it seemed like a nice place to just focus on your education rather than making friends. On top of that, you went because of the volleyball clubs. They seemed nice enough, even made it to nationals a few times.  
You didn’t work well with teams though, so when you overheard a few people talking about managing a team you thought it would be easy enough. You could nonetheless be around it while practicing on the side.   
The first day of practice was always nerve-wracking but exciting but this was different. Meeting Karasuno's chaotic and fun team made you feel something that day. You felt warm and happy, even carefree. You noticed the manager was much different than the rest of the team. She was quiet and calm, and very kind, she welcomed you with open arms and showed you the ropes.  
Your first day was going great until the rest of the first-years showed up. Because amongst them was someone you shut out. Someone you left behind. Kageyama, Tobio  
As Iwa embraced you in the hall, your cries became muffled in his jacket. Why was he doing this for you? Wasn’t he angry?  
“Iwa, what are you doing?” Your voice feeble from crying.   
“I don’t know, it’s just a habit.” You looked up from his shoulder; noticing how much taller he’d gotten, even while sitting on the floor. It’s been a while since you had been face to face with him.  
“I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry I left and didn’t tell you why, and I’m sorry for saying all those things.” You couldn’t look him in the eye. He rose from the floor reaching out a hand in return. Grasping your hand, he pulled you back to your feet.  
“I don’t think now is a good time for this.” He was reaching for his bags to be promptly stopped by your hand.   
“But you can’t leave now. There’s-” You hesitated, “There’s so much I have to tell you, so much I have to tell Toru. Iwa...please let me make things right.” He suddenly pulled away his hand grabbing his bag.  
“I can’t do this now; I’m sure Toru can’t either. We just lost the chance for nationals and now you’re back.” His words pierced right through your fragile heart creating a somber silence.  
“Iwa, I know you’re pissed with me but I’m trying to fix things, just let me explain-”  
“No!” He shouted, with a look of regret spreading across his face. “I didn’t mean that, I-I should go, my team is waiting for me.” He looked down as he turned away from you. You couldn’t allow him to leave yet, he was so close now, you couldn’t lose them again. You seized his wrist.  
“It was insensitive, I know. You just have to give me a chance, let me explain, please Iwa.”   
“I can’t,” was all he said, leaving you alone in the dimmed hallway. Shattering every last piece of confidence you had left.   
Running off to gather yourself, you ended up in a vacated hall. You slid down the wall and placed your head in your hands.  
Why is everything so incredibly stressful?  
You always wondered that but never once have gotten the answer. Probably never get one either. As you sat there in the flood of thoughts, immersed in stress. It was like you were drowning in fears, but no one could save you from your reality. You learned that the hard way.


	4. Chapter 4

The minutes were elapsing in what felt like hours as you sat against the cold wall.  
*buzz*  
Why can’t anyone leave me alone?   
*buzz*  
Ughh, again? What do they want? Whatever, I don’t care.  
*buzz*  
Okay! Fine, I’ll look, jeez.   
You pick up your phone; it read: Saeko, 3 new messages. “Hey, where’d you go?” “Y/nn?” “Get over here before the teams leave.”   
The game had completely slipped your mind. Was your memory that bad? Get a grip. You quickly snatched up your bag running, trying to navigate your way through these stupid hallways. It’s as if they were never-ending!  
It didn’t take too long to find the gym again; all you had to do was follow the sound of Noya and Tanaka reveling in their victories. As you pushed through the doors Saeko whipped her head around to face you.  
“Y/n! I was worried about you. Did something happen?” She said walking over to greet you.  
“Oh, sorry I just had a headache so I left for a little.” *Cough, cough* lies. You always hated lying to her like that, but you didn’t want her to worry about you. After all, there are already too many people wrapped up in your problems.   
“Well we’ve been waiting for you, why don’t you go congratulate the team.”  
“I know, I know, I’m going.” Adjusting your bag, you hurried over to the rest of them. “Hey, you guys did great! And Tadashi, your serves were amazing. I have to say, they’ve improved,” you say with a smile. He was beaming. You loved making people happy, although you haven’t been very good at that lately.  
“Thanks, Y/n.” He said cheerfully.  
“Oh! Also, have you seen Kageyama anywhere?”  
“He’s probably getting changed or something.”  
“Okay, thanks then.” You start walking away on a search for Kageyama when you feel a sudden pressure on your shoulders.  
“Heyyy Y/n,” Noya said, releasing your shoulders.  
“I should’ve known it was you, Noya.” You both laughed. “You did great today, by the way.”   
“Yeah, I know,” he said with immense arrogance. You rolled your eyes and smirked at him.  
“Someone’s confident today.”  
“Well, when you’re as good as me you have every right to.”  
“Oh shut up, you arrogant idiot.  
“Hey! I am not!”  
“Yeah, mhmm.”It was so fun messing with him. He pouted. “Are you gonna live?”  
“I don’t know that kind of hurt, but maybe just this once, I’ll let it slide for my favorite first year.” You smiled at that. You haven’t been someone’s favorite for a while now. You almost forgot what it was like to be appreciated. I made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  
“Well, I’m gonna go find Kiyoko, see ya!” He said as he dashed off. Poor Kiyoko always has the guys after her.   
After a couple of minutes of procrastination about the search for that milk-loving setter, you heard someone calling your name as you intently stared at the floor.  
“Hey Y/n, come on, we're leaving,” Sugawara said, grabbing the remaining water bottles. Did you not notice everyone leaving? You need to work on those hyper-fixation problems of yours. You quickly grabbed your jacket which had fallen to the ground and persisted after him. You could barely keep up with his fast-paced steps.  
“Suga! Wait, I can’t walk that fast. My legs are short. Waittt,” you said now desperately trying to keep up. He just laughed. Then you felt a subtle relief as he slowed to your side.   
“You were pretty out of it a little bit ago; what were you thinking about?” Suga looked over at you to carefully read your expression. No matter how hard you tried, he always figured it out.   
“Oh, just stuff. It wasn’t important, though.” You say as you fiddled with the zipper on your jacket. You knew this was a pointless act but it’s too late to turn back now.   
“Oh well doesn’t that sound interesting,” he snickered. Only a sarcastic comment? That’s all? No getting after you for lying, nothing? Well, that was unexpected. Typically he’d say something along the lines of, ‘Y/n you don’t have to lie about it, just tell me about it.’ Or something like, ‘It’s not good to bottle up your emotions Y/n. You should know that by now.’   
Classic Suga, always caring for you better than you could yourself. You were grateful for him; he’d always been there when no one else was.   
Dwelling on the day’s events for what seemed like the hundredth time today, your eyes welled with tears. You came to a halt, instinctively staring at the ground trying to regain your composure. What’s wrong with you? Those words echoed in your head, seemingly getting louder and louder.   
“Suga, can you walk home with me tonight?” You pleaded, finally finding the courage to ask with eyes still glued to the floor. He stopped, slightly shocked you had even asked given the state you were in. You normally tried facing everything alone. It was like your defense mechanism.   
“Yeah, of course. There are just a few things I have to do before we leave though.” He said, picking up his pace again.   
“Thanks..” You trailed off, a tender smile forming on your face. 

By the time you both had made it to the bus, everyone was already seated and ready to leave. As you get on Suga takes a seat next to Daichi while you make your way to the back. Kiyoko looks at you with a puzzled look as you throw your bags into the seat across from you. You ignored her and everyone else on the bus. You didn’t have the patience nor the suppression of your thoughts to deal with anything now. All you wanted was a tranquil ride back.  
You reached into your pocket not noticing someone had walked over to your seat.   
“Y/n?” They said as you jerked your head up from the tangled mess of earbud cords.  
“Yes, Kiyoko?” You said, instantly putting up your happy front.   
“Are you okay? Because you just walked right past me. I saved you a seat.” She paused for a moment. “It just seems unlike you, that’s all.”  
“I’m fine, just tired is all. Would you mind if I just stayed back here today?” She hadn’t anticipated you’d say that next. She now just looked confused, you couldn’t blame her, though.  
“No, no that would be fine. I’ll leave you be then,” hesitantly she got up and walked a few seats in front of you. When she left you sank back into the uncomfy seat and plugged in your earbuds. Finally, some peace. It’s not that you minded the company of others, you just needed a break.  
The rest of the ride no one bothered you, just a few glances here and there but that was all. The music helped put your mind at ease as you tried not to think about anything. Doing your homework on the bus wasn’t ideal but at least you won’t be bothered.   
“Damn it!” You shouted, throwing your pencil. Oops, my bad. Realizing what you had done you slowly straightened up in your seat hoping no one noticed. Luckily for you, everyone was sleeping, and only a slight stirring was caused. You then knelt over on the bus floor for the pencil you chucked in your blind rage. You never found the thing. Well, at least I have an excuse for not doing this. You thought leaning back against the cold window.   
The thoughts that were once raging in your head had silenced themselves as you sat there resonating with the music. You closed your eyes, giving the music your undivided attention. You felt free. Free from stress. From worry. From life.   
You sat there for what felt like hours when the bus came to a sudden stop. You opened your eyes as you gradually began rising in your seat. Glancing around the bus, everyone was still asleep aside from the coaches and Kiyoko. It’s payback time now, you thought smirking to yourself as you grabbed your bag and put on your jacket.   
This was for all the pranks the team pulled on you and for all the times they woke you up before 4 am. This will only be a small turn of events in the beautiful plot of revenge you had in store for them. As you walked past Kiyoko, you mouthed the words, ‘It’s time.’   
She knew what that meant. A while back she walked in on you in the middle of your plots so initially, you had to tell her.   
When you got to the front, you started shuffling through your bag looking for your whistle. Kiyoko soon followed after you, making her way off the bus.   
“Hey, um coaches, you might wanna get off the bus..” You say slyly looking up as you pull the long-lost whistle out of your bag.  
“Y/n...what are you doing?” Coach Ukai questions as he stands up with his clipboard and papers.  
“One word, payback.” He honestly isn’t surprised to hear you say that with a certain fire in your eyes.  
“Alright, just hurry up about it. Come on Ittetsu,” he says nodding towards the doors.   
You eagerly watch as they walk off. This was it. The plan was now in motion. You thought to yourself, a devious smile forming on your face. You quickly set up your phone to record, making sure to get each of their faces in the picture. You stepped away bringing the whistle to your lips. Taking a breath, you blew it. *Phwwwwwwhht* The screech from the whistle made you cringe a little but it was all worth it. You watch as looks of fear and panic spread across their face as they were suddenly awakened from their peaceful slumbers. Your sudden burst of laughter gradually mixes with the slightly panicked breathing of the team.   
“Y/N WHAT THE HELL!” Tanaka yelled from across the bus. That had only made you laugh harder.   
“YEAH, WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS?!” Noya shouted after him. You almost couldn’t take it. This was the perfect way to start your revenge plot. If this is how they reacted to a whistle, I wonder how they’ll be with everything else. You thought now doubling over trying to catch your breath.   
“It wasn’t that funny,” Tsukishima said in the usual snarky tone.  
“Well, you didn’t see their faces salty-shima.” You retaliated back. He just rolled his eyes. Standing back up you grabbed your phone to stop the recording.   
“You were recording that?!” Hinata cried from the back.  
“No I just had my phone up ther-Of course I was recording. And I got what I wanted, so peace out losers.” You say bounding off the bus.  
As you walk out to meet Kiyoko, the team quickly follows. The once semi-quiet Karasuno highschool is then filled with excitement and cheers. The clubs after school had stayed to briefly cheer on and congratulate the team, before returning to their activities.   
You follow the team into the school aways before you briefly tell the coach you had something to do. You quickly ran off to your locker, grabbing the several papers scattered across the shelves. Some were homework, others, schedules, and various other papers that came with it. You grabbed a few pencils seeing as you threw the last one and stuffed them in your bag. You hoisted your bag back onto your shoulder as you slammed the locker door. You decided it wouldn’t hurt if you took your time getting to the gym, they weren’t there anyway so you could set up the nets. 

After a while, they made it to the gym and were called over by Coach Ukai to discuss the next game plan. They were playing Shiritorizawa. They were a powerhouse school, notorious for going to nationals every year. It would be an interesting match, too bad you might not make it. You wished you could go watch but the lunch with Elijah will interfere. You hadn’t dared think about that since he called. It would probably linger on your mind later tonight, agonizing you until dawn. What you both went through was enough on its own, thinking about it more, over-analyzing it would only cause you pain again. You weren’t ready for tomorrow, but as the night progressed the time in between grew shorter and shorter.


	5. Chapter 5

Practice went on for a couple of hours before the coach called it a night. You began collecting your papers off the floor when Suga came over.   
“Are you almost ready to go?” He asked kneeling to help you.  
“Yeah,” you said shoving papers into a pouch in your bag. “I just need to put the last of this homework away and then we can go.” Smiling up at him zipping up your bag. You quickly got to your feet and started slowly walking to the door.  
“So why did you ask me to walk home with you?” Suga said staring off into the sky.  
“I just thought you could use the company,” You hesitantly reply.  
“Okay, and what's the real reason?” Of course, he knew that wasn’t your reasoning. It was foolish to think he would fall for something like that.  
“Well...I-” You paused, how could you put this. “I just thought maybe you could help me.” Your voice trailed off into the silence of the night.   
“Well vent away, I’m listening.” You didn’t want to cry anymore today, you’ve had enough. But your will wouldn’t be enough to stop the overflowing of emotions you kept hidden for so long.   
“Well for starters, I got a call from Elijah today.”  
“What did he want?”  
“He called about my Dad..” Silence. “He said that we needed to talk. But he refused to do it over the phone, so I’m meeting him at a cafe tomorrow.”  
“Will you make it to the match then?”  
“I don’t know, I promise I’ll try though,” you gave him a weak smile. “It depends on how long we stay there. I’m sure there’s a lot to unpack with that so it’ll be late before I would even get there. I’m sorry.” You say kicking a few rocks aside.  
“There’s nothing to be sorry for Y/n. It’s okay.” Hearing those words, ‘I’m sorry’ made Suga see the vulnerable side of you. The side that you refused to show, or talk about. The first time you told him about your past, you cried for hours. He remembers that night clearly, watching as you broke down to the floor; tears streaming down your face. Your past puts you through so much agony, haunting your every move. You just sat there as he comforted you, crying beside him as he rubbed your back.   
It had never been easy for you to talk about your past, the constant reminders popping up, the nightmares, the loneliness. You took a breath before talking again.  
“I’ve been trying not to think about tomorrow with Elijah but now, with all these constant reminders it’s hard. The night’s almost over, which means the closer I am to tomorrow. That’s also not the only thing that’s on my mind. I ran into someone today. It was...Iwa.” You stopped walking, your lip beginning to quiver.  
“Y/n?” Suga said coming to a halt after you. He looked back at you, your eyes glossy and brimmed with tears. “Y/n? Are you okay?” You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You were so close to crying, no no no no. You thought, you can’t cry. Stop it. You bit your bottom lip to stop yourself but, it was too late. It happened again, the warm tears flowed from your eyes as you sank to your knees. You’re so weak, dammit! Get up, get up, get up! But your legs wouldn’t move. “Y/n!” He said running over to you. He wrapped his arms around you in a soft embrace. You wept in his arms, barely getting enough air.  
Your emotions finally caught up to you. You hated that. You hated feeling things because everything would eventually hurt you.  
“I can’t-I can’t do this Suga!” You say in between cries, “I can’t live like this anymore! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” You yelled.   
“It’ll be okay Y/n. I promise, but how about we go talk about this back at your house, okay?” He said caressing the back of your head. You nodded into his jacket. As he stood up, he stuck out a hand, willing you to take it. You sat there tears streaming down your face as you stared at the ground. You tilt your head upwards just enough to see his hand and took it. He pulled your limp body up from the ground and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Neither of you talked. Just silence.   
You two walked back to your house in the dark with no light but the moon. Your face burned from crying, your mind sick of thoughts. You couldn’t deal with anything more today, although you knew you had to. Suga would want to know everything to help you in any way he could, but you needed a break. A break from reality even if it was just for a while.  
It took a little while to reach the house, but you were both thankful when you did. Your legs were tired, especially Suga from practice. Your hand shook as you took the set of keys from your pocket and unlocked the door. As you walk in you flick on the lights, illuminating the messy living room. You hadn’t intended on having any guests over so from past nights of studying remained cluttering the coffee table and several couch cushions.   
“Sorry about the mess, I’ll clean it up in a second. Would you like something to drink? I have chai tea, or you can have coffee.” You say, leaving your shoes by the door and hurrying to the living room. You stacked all the papers in a neat pile and took your cup to the sink.   
“Coffee is fine, thank you,” Suga said walking over to your island bar stools. You headed towards a cabinet pulling out a glass mug placing it under the coffee maker. There was an anxious silence drifting through the room before he broke the ice. “So you saw Iwa today?” He asked in his typical concerned mother tone.  
“Yeah...I saw him leaving, and obviously being the idiot I am, I went after him. I thought- I thought it would go fine and we’d reconnect just like that, but he didn’t want to talk. I guess that should be expected though from someone who hasn’t seen you in years. Not to mention they’re probably both still mad.” You stated, watching as the cream clouded in the coffee. You go over to set it on the counter. “Here, be careful it’s hot.” He takes a sip before he looks up at you, waiting for you to continue.   
“If I were them, I wouldn’t want to talk with me either, so I really can’t complain.” As you said that you looked so empty. You went on, “I just wish things turned out different, but I can’t do anything about it now can I. Suga I don’t know what to do anymore.” You slid to the ground sitting in the corner of your cabinets, breaking down all over again. Is this what you get for holding everything back for so long?  
The pressure built up every time something popped up. When you saw them at games, seeing the pictures of your mother, the loads and loads of schoolwork. The stress from it all was finally going to your head. Overwhelming you to the point of self-destruction.  
As you sat in the corner with your whirls of emotions rushing through your head, Suga came to comfort you. Bringing his arm around you; laying your head on his shoulder and the dry tears fell from your eyes. In a way, you were numb, but not numb enough to block you from your tormenting thoughts. Twisting your body, you laid on the ground burying your head in your hands. You take a few breaths running your hands back through your hair.  
“Suga?” You say staring at the ceiling of the kitchen.  
“Yes?” He says, turning to look at you.  
“I’m sorry.” Noticing his confused look, you continued, “I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.” A single teardrop dripping down the side of your face.  
“Y/n, you didn’t drag me into it. I volunteered for this because I’m your friend and care about you. You aren’t a burden to me or anyone else. I’ll always be here to talk, I promise.”  
“You make a lot of promises Suga; I’m starting to wonder if you actually mean it.” You say laughing, trying to lighten the mood. “Wanna watch a movie?”   
“Sure, what movie?” He says getting up and plopping himself on the couch.   
“I don’t care, you can pick whatever. Want popcorn?” Going up on your tiptoes reaching for the bowls.  
“Yeah, sure and how does Extraction sound?”   
“That’s fine and the popcorn will be done in a little bit.”  
After a while you two sat on the couch under a blanket sharing the popcorn, both laughing as you yelled at the tv. Neither of you dared say a word about earlier today, not risking another breakdown.   
Halfway through the movie, you noticed how quiet it got and when you looked over Suga was sleeping. You decided to let him sleep before his game tomorrow and covered him with a blanket and turned off the tv.   
Lazily walking up the stairs you jumped on your bed curling up under the covers, not even bothering to change. It could wait until morning, you thought drifting to sleep. After the day you had, you think you deserve a break.


	6. Chapter 6

Emerged deep in the mounds of blankets on your bed someone was nudging you.  
“Y/n, get up we have to go,” Suga said, attempting to take the covers off you.  
“Go awaayy,” You grumbled yanking the covers out of his grasp. “Just a little longer, then I’ll get up” Truth is that probably wouldn’t happen. Oh well, his loss, not mine.  
“Fine, I’m giving you five minutes. You better be up, he asserted leaving and closing the door behind him. You scooted over in your bed, being the unlucky person you were, you fell out and rolled on the floor.   
“Ughhhh,” you groaned clutching your side. You also just happened to fall on something sharp. What a great start to your morning. You rolled your eyes.   
Might as well get up now, I’m already out of bed. You slowly sat up, the sun radiantly beaming into your eyes, temporarily blinding you. You got up stumbling over to your closet. You grabbed your uniform and threw it to your bed. You just needed a change of clothes for coffee and you’d be all set. Dressing nice would be the better route but you didn’t feel like it.   
You could totally roll up in sweats. After pondering the idea for several minutes, you concluded on dressing nice. It sounded stupid in your head, but it’ll work out in the long run, at least that’s what you told yourself.  
You quickly dressed and stuffed the clothes into your bag.   
Shit, you forgot to do your homework.  
Oh well, you were failing half of your classes anyway. Okay, what else do I need for school? Oh phone, but...where is it? Ughh I don’t have time for this right now. You jumped back onto your bed violently shaking the covers in search of your phone. Then you saw something fly across the room.   
Oh no.  
You prayed for your phone to be unbroken, but with the speed it had, you wouldn’t be surprised. You ran over to the closet door, having a mini heart attack on your way. “Please don’t be broken, please don’t be broken,” you whispered reaching out for it.   
“YES!” Shouting at nothing seeing nothing major but a scratch. Well, things could be looking up this morning.  
Remembering you forgot to plug it in last night you swiped your charger and ran out the door.  
“Good morning Suga!” You brightly exclaimed, hopping down the steps.   
“Good morning Y/n, how’d you sleep?” He said through the sizzling of the bacon.   
“I slept fine I guess and are you cooking? In my own house? You didn’t have to do that,” you minded, grabbing the neat stack of papers and slipping it in your bag.  
“It was the least I could do, you let me spend the night after all.”   
“You don’t have to-”  
“Just let me do this for you,” he insisted, cutting you off.  
“Okay, okay, okay. I’ll back off then.” You walked over to the island watching him cook. He wasn’t half bad.  
“Do you need to shower? Because you can go up and use it if you need it.”  
“No I’m all good I stopped at my house early this morning and got my stuff. Then as I walked in, I was lectured about staying over at friends without saying anything,” you laugh at that.   
“Well, they wouldn’t want their ‘precious Suga’ to get lost now would they?” You said through your smirk. He just rolled his eyes at your mockery.  
After that, you ate breakfast together and walked to school. You talked about a lot of things like the volleyball game and math, how much you hated math. You tried to help Suga out and calm him down but he was a nervous wreck already. You asked him if he was turning into Asahi, but when you said that he just scoffed and playfully punched your arm.  
When you got to school you both went your separate ways, with that you stopped at your locker.   
“Hey,” someone said from behind you. You jumped at that, messing up your locker combo. You spun around, “You scared me you jerk!” You yelled slapping Kageyama in the arm.  
“Sorry boke, maybe you shouldn’t get scared next time,” he retaliated. You glared at him.  
“Kageyama I swear…” You whispered under your breath. "Yeah, I'll try that next time.” You say sarcastically turning back to your locker. You put away your bag and took your homework from it. “Come on we’re going to be late for class.” You slammed your locker and grabbed his sleeve, dragging him down the hallway.   
Classes went on like normal, boring, long but that couldn’t distract you from what was ahead. Your anxiety-prone ways were starting to kick in again. What would he say? What did Dad want after all these years? The thoughts crossed your mind as you doodled on the sides of your worksheets.   
Just thinking about that man angered you. Why the hell should he get to waltz right into your life again?! He left, he has not damn right! Pressing your pencil down on the paper, your grip tightened with every passing minute. Going unnoticed it got to a point of snapping the lead off. You snarled at the pencil. Did you-just snarl…at a pencil? You were way more on edge than you thought.   
You took a breath, I am calm, you thought to yourself.  
Oh who am I kidding, no the hell I’m not.  
It would probably be best if you left class for a while, didn’t want to visit the principal again…   
It was the last day of finals and you were in math. Long story short, the test stressed you out. Which led to you being angry and stressed while some other kids bothered you. Then you just snapped at them and you may have, sort of...threw a chair. You honestly just gave up on trying to explain what happened to everyone. After that day many people were scared of you, but there was no going back. You just thought since that happened excusing yourself now would save someone's head.   
You patiently raised your hand to leave, and once you got the approval you booked it out the door. You could tell many people were looking and starting to whisper about you but that didn’t matter. You just needed to get out of there.  
The original plan was to just sit in the bathroom, but there were people in there. Time to find a new spot. You wandered the halls for a couple of minutes surveying the areas for any teachers or classmates. After many taken hallways you found a nice area near some vending machines with a spot to sit right in the middle. You sat down, plugging in your earbuds turning up the music. You closed your eyes leaning back against the rough bricks, now you could relax.  
You sat there for what seemed like forever until you saw Kageyama coming towards you.  
“Hey Kags,” you say standing up to meet his gaze.  
“Why didn’t you come back to class?” Kageyama said dropping his bag from his shoulder.  
“I just needed to get some stuff off my mind and time got away from me.”  
“I got your homework pages, and your worksheets,” he said handing the stack back to you. “Thought you might need these.”  
“Thanks,” you smile at him. Even if he didn’t show it, he was a good person. “Wanna go grab lunch?”   
“Oh, sorry I can’t today, which reminds me, I actually have to get going I’ll see you later okay?” You say now shoving the papers into a pocket.  
“Okay…where are you going?” He quickly adds in before you leave.  
“I’m meeting with Elijah,” you say voice trailing off, running out of sight as you turned the corner.  
You hadn’t told Kageyama a lot about your past, but one thing he knew for sure was that meeting Elijah was never a good thing.


	7. Chapter 7

Rushing off from school leaving Kageyama standing there, you tried to quickly make it to the cafe. You wanted to get this inevitable meeting over with. The fear had been eating you alive.   
The bells above the door chimed as you walked in. Surveying the room, you didn’t see Elijah. You check your phone.  
I guess I’m a little early. Might as well find a table.  
You walk over to a small table with two seats, you could just order when he got here anyway. Too busy frantically looking for him you failed to take in the true environment of the cafe. It was darker than many you’ve been to before. With sleek wood tables and olive green chairs, it gave off a cozy vibe. There was also the strong aroma of coffee beans that had been freshly crushed. It reminded you of your own home, with the constant making of coffee.   
As you were enjoying the aura something, or rather someone you failed to notice finally came into view. A male figure wearing a light grey sweatshirt covered with a jean jacket. His physique was tall and muscular, probably plays a sport, you thought further analyzing him. He had dark brown hair-  
Oh.  
It’s you.  
One thing that had never been brought to mind was that the tall figure was your ex-best friend. Iwa.  
You watch as he gets his coffee and turns toward your table taking a moment to realize who he had locked eyes with. Quickly breaking contact he headed for the doors.  
Come on, go do something!  
Springing up from your seat, you hustled after him to the door.  
“Iwa wait, please. Don’t ignore me, please.” You say watching him stop dead in his tracks.   
“Fine, what?” He stated, turning around. You looked at the ground as if waiting for the answer to what you should say.  
“Don’t you wanna fix anything? Or are you just gonna keep running from your problems? You can’t just push things away and expect them to be resolved you know. I would know,” you say, voice trailing off.  
“I-”   
“No, don’t. Just save your excuses for people with time, so if you’ll excuse me I have to go deal with something.” You say interrupting him, storming off back into the cafe. You didn’t dare look back, all you could do was hope he left.  
A few minutes later the cafe bells chimed again causing you to lookup.  
Elijah! Elijah…  
You had mixed feelings about this whole thing, which had only confused you more. It’s been a while since you last saw each other, him being busy with work and all. As much as you enjoyed seeing him the empty pit in your stomach filled with dread.   
“Hey,” you say walking over to greet him.  
“Y/n, hey! Sorry, I’m a bit late, I hope you weren’t waiting too long.” Elijah said pulling you into a tight embrace.  
“It’s okay, were you held up at work?” You asking dragging him over to the counter.  
“Yeah, there was a lot of paperwork I had to fill out. Last-minute too.”  
“That makes sense. Do you know what you want?”   
“Yes, I’ll take a large salted caramel cream cold brew,” He said directing his attention to the barista.  
“Then I’ll have a large matcha tea with a cinnamon coffee cake.”  
“That’ll be $11.59,” the barista said as she took your cash. “Here’s your change, and it’ll be done shortly.”   
You both walk over to the table you picked out near the window in the back of the cafe. The topic of school eventually pops up while you waited for your drinks. You decided now would be a good enough time to tell him about the chair incident. When you finished telling your story, he wasn’t mad, just surprised. Then gave you the typical ‘you can’t throw chairs at people when you’re mad’ lecture. Well typical for your family, not so much for the rest of the world. This sadly wasn’t the first time you threw one, but you were only little how could anyone blame you.  
As the drinks arrived you had both burst out laughing, getting a few strange looks from the workers and strangers near you. You took a breath ad sipped your tea before Elijah’s face dulled.  
“Something wrong?” You say setting down the mug.  
“Well, there’s a reason we’re here, remember.” He said as he fiddled with his fingers. A sudden wave of anxiety hit you. You knew exactly what he was talking about.   
That scumbag of a father you had.  
“Oh, that,” you rolled your eyes. “What the hell does he want?”  
“Here,” Elijah said handing you his phone.   
It read:   
‘Hey Eli, it’s your father. I just wanted to apologize for what I did, and how I left you and Y/n. It was wrong and I wanna make up for it. Please let me make things right. I just really miss you both and I wanna be in your lives again, please.  
10:35 am’  
How pathetic. He sounds so desperate in this. You laughed a little because after all, he deserves everything he’s got coming.  
‘Elijah, please answer my calls. I just wanna talk.  
12:21 pm’  
“In case you were wondering he called seven times that night then twelve the next day,” he said answering the exact question that was on your mind. You nodded and went back to reading.  
‘Eli please I’m so sorry for what I did. Just give me a chance to prove how I’ll make it up. All I’m asking for is a chance. Please.  
3:12 pm’  
The texts seemed to get more desperate as time went on with Elijah completely ignoring him.   
‘I promise I won’t leave again. I regret doing the things I did, just give me a chance and I’ll make it right. I’m begging you, please Elijah.  
9:52 am’  
The next one read;  
‘I’ll do anything.  
9:53 am’  
‘I can give you whatever you want. Just name it and you got it. Just please let me back into your life. Let me make things right between us, between me and Y/n.  
10:07 am’  
That last text sounded almost true, but he was a world-renowned liar. He’d always been good at it. Especially to your mother, he had everything wrapped around his finger. Life at home was in his control, but only behind closed doors.  
Anger flowed through your veins leaving no harsh memory left behind. You gripped the phone tighter in your grasp thinking of everything he had done to you, all the pain he left behind, the trauma he caused. You hated that man with every fiber of your being, you’d never forgive him. Not even if your life depended on it.  
“He sounds desperate,” you say trying to diffuse the tension you caused.  
“Yeah..he does. He’s also left several voice mails, he says he wants to meet you. To see you again and give a ‘formal apology’ if he’s even capable of that,” Elijah said slipping his phone back into his pocket.  
You sip your tea, thoughts rushing through your mind. Why now? He should know he messed up and I don’t ever want to see his stupid face again.  
“I’m not meeting with him.”  
“Wait Y/n, think about it first. I get that you hate him but don’t you think it would be good to clear things up. Maybe it would help-”   
“Of course you’d say that. Because you don’t know what it’s like. You have never felt the pain I have. Never being good enough and everything else that asshole has put me through!” Your voice steadily raising.  
“Y/n..”   
“NO! It won’t help and I won’t consider it! All it’s gonna do is create more damn problems! Don’t you realize that?! He left us, Elijah! He’s lying. He doesn’t want you or me!” Angry tears fell to the table as many others tried to subtly watch the fight go down. “I’m done with him!” You took a quick short breath to calm yourself before speaking to him again. “I have to go, bye Eli.” You grabbed your coffee cake box and tea and hurried out the door.  
Elijah watched as you left resting his head in his hands on the table. “I knew this wasn’t gonna go well,” he sighs taking a long drink of coffee.  
You couldn’t deal with it anymore, the ache in your heart from running away from all your problems.  
Didn’t you tell Iwa not to run from his problems earlier? Whatever that doesn’t matter, this is different. You thought trying to calm your raging thoughts. I guess I should head over to the game now.  
Finding a bus stop you waited for a couple of minutes before one arrived, you got on and made your way towards the back. You asked if he could take you to the Sendai city gym. The closest stop he could make was about half-mile away from it so you could just walk there.  
Now finally another distraction. I just hope this one works better.


	8. Chapter 8

*Years ago*

“Dad, I’m home.” You say walking through the door dropping your bag and kicking off your shoes. You waited for a few minutes, but he never came to greet you.   
Typical though he only cares about Eli and his stupid grades.   
You always tried so hard to impress him even though it was pointless. Always tried to fix your broken relationship but deep down you knew he would never change his ways. Even after all the things he said to you, all he’s done, you still wanted him to be your father. You wanted him to love you, to care for you.   
From the outside, your family seemed picture-perfect and even from certain views in your family. But you were far from that. Because behind closed doors, he abused you. Told you to do better, that you were never good enough, a lost cause even. You often brushed it aside, trying to get better grades desperately praying for his approval. In the end, nothing else mattered more to you than that.  
All the things he had said corrupted your mind, leaving you lost and vulnerable to the world around you. Though the pain would seep through until later in life.   
Plopping down on your bed you take the crumpled paper out of your pocket. You had to get rid of it; you couldn’t show him the C you got in math.   
He’d be so disappointed, and angry. You could never fit his standards no matter how hard you tried, that always tore you down in the end. Getting in your head but not even knowing. All those corrupt thoughts, all the lies you were told every day. How you would never measure up to anything and how much better everyone else was.   
That all happened behind closed doors.  
“Hey Y/n, how did you do on your test today?” A voice said through the crack of the door.   
Oh no, not now. I haven't gotten rid of it yet.  
“Oh uh Dad, hi it went fine,” you stutter trying to quietly slip the paper behind your bed. The door burst open.  
“Where is it?” He asked slamming the door open, “What did you do with it?”  
“I...uh, I left it at school. Sorry,” maybe you could get away with it this time. You watch his eyes search the room then flick to the corner of your bed. Looking out of the corner of your eye, you notice a tiny edge of the paper sticking out from under your pillow. That’s when you started to panic. If he found your grade, he would be furious, and not to mention you just lied to his face!  
You just watch in fear as he strides over and snatches the paper then glares at you.  
“What the hell is this!” He shouts as you cower into the corner.  
“Um… my test.”  
“You got a C, what are you stupid?! Your brother is getting straight A’s!”  
“I know I’m trying,” you were quickly cut off.  
“No you're not, and you’ll never be as good as your brother. Work harder,” was the last thing he said before slamming the door behind him. Your breath faltered. You held back the tears and ran to take out your textbooks.   
You have to study harder, maybe then he’ll accept you.

*Present*  
You hop off the bus steps onto the pale sidewalk about a mile from the school. You were so happy to be out of that damn cafe. Nothing could be more stressful than running into Iwa and talking about your half-ass father. You really didn’t want to keep thinking about the past. But that’s the thing about your thoughts, they don’t just go away when you want them to. They sit and linger until brought to the light once more by the somehow inevitable events that seem to always happen to you.  
You just had to deal with it, doesn’t seem like your life would get easier anytime soon anyway. With all your broken relationships and past trauma floating around; it’s no surprise you’re a mess.   
You kick several rocks along the concrete, steadily picking up the pace.   
You’re already late, though. Why does it matter?  
Good point.  
Oh, shut up.  
You roll your eyes to yourself, as you casually get over the argument in your head. You keep a steady pace, so you can actually see some of the matches.  
After a while of walking, you made it to the gym entrance.   
You guys better be winning.  
Bounding through the halls and to the stairs, you see massive crowds of people everywhere with their loud cheers. You never really liked crowds; they overwhelmed you too much. You decided it would be easier if you went to the highest seats where there were only a few people. That way you keep your feelings on the down-low.  
Slouching into your seat you glance around the room to notice something off-Oh look at that, just who I wanted to see. You rolled your eyes at that and snapped your head back to the game.  
After a while, you’d occasionally glance over out of curiosity. Maybe I should go over there. But do I really want to? You thought to yourself, pinching the bridge of your nose. Iwa is probably still mad anyway, I should just leave him alone...but should I? I wonder what they would say…  
After seconds passed that felt like minutes, a sudden wave of confidence washed over you causing you to push your things aside and stand up. No one seemed to notice, to your advantage as you sauntered over to them. Quickly approaching their seats, you froze. This was where the real panic came in. Starting a conversation with someone you’d lost contact with for about three years. How inviting. You thought rolling your eyes. You take a breath and gather the once unbreakable confidence you had.   
“Hey Toru…” you said standing tall and wearing a warm sympathetic smile. Your breath hitched as you watched Oikawa turn around in complete shock. He stares at you for a couple of seconds before he opens his mouth to say something, eyes in awe of who stumbled upon him.  
Shaking out of his trance, “Y/n?” he says. “What are you doing here?” His mind had flooded with questions as soon as you had walked into sight, but he couldn’t find the right words. After-all, it had been so long since you last saw each other.  
“I didn’t think I’d find you two here,” you stated, fiddling with your fingers.  
“Same to you,” Oikawa paused. “What are you doing here all of a sudden anyway?” Listening to the way he spoke you figured part of him was still angry, shocked, but there was a slight relief to the reliance in his voice. He watched you closely waiting for an answer as you ever so quickly tried to put on together.  
“Well, I’m Karasunos apprentice manager. I also thought I could avoid everything here, but I guess not. Right, Iwa?” You said finally glancing in his direction. When he first noticed you, he didn’t look up once. Not since what had happened at the cafe.   
“Tsk,” Oikawa said, rolling his eyes a sly smirk spreading across his face. “How’s the king been? Demanding as usual I assume.”  
“Really? After all these years, that’s what you want to ask me?” You gave him a puzzled look, leaning back onto your heel. The conversation tensed. Flustered, he leaned back into his seat. “Well no,” he mumbled. “Oh wait- before I forget what did you mean by, right Iwa?”  
So he didn’t tell Toru. Might as well stir the pot then.


End file.
